District 9 Review

District 9 Review

First-time feature director Neill Blomkamp takes a chance re-envisioning his own short film that caught the attention of producer Peter Jackson. Selfish wish fulfilment or inspired work of art?

The answer is very much in the latter camp waving flags, dancing around the fire and screaming aloud – District 9 is, quite simply, a goddamn masterpiece.

It begins so simply with a documentary explaining that in the 1980’s, an alien mothership suddenly appeared over Johannesburg and the aliens inside were allowed to live on Earth in a camp set up underneath the vessel, in the titular District 9. Flashforward to the present day and District 9 is a war-torn slum controlled by vile gangs, while Multi-National United (MNU) has assigned the optimistic young ladder climbing Wikus the duty of informing all the aliens that they are to be evicted to a new camp under stricter control. Whilst doing his job, Wikus is accidentally sprayed with a strange fluid that begins to change him and his entire world…

It’s here that complete credit must be given to actor Sharlto Copley. The entire film is built upon his earnest, convincing, moving portrait of a career man completely broken and his performance is, quite simply, flawless. Neill Blomkamp’s direction is also outstanding, allowing the maximum amount of human drama to bleed through where necessary and then totally ramping it up for the mind-blowingly impressive and spectacular all-out action pieces.

It’s essentially a film in three stages: the opening documentary effortlessly turns into a human drama/ horror in the manner of The Fly which then morphs into a war movie. What’s most impressive is that the whole thing is nothing less than believable, heartbreaking and compelling.

The CGI is flawless throughout – another stunning achievement for a film that cost a ‘mere’ $30 million to make. The aliens are distinctive and memorable and the ones you are supposed to follow are even coloured differently to stand out – take that, Transformers. It’s a powerful, moving slice of cinema with sympathetic heroes – both human and alien – and some of the most despicable villains to ever appear in sci-fi. Seriously, look in the dictionary under ‘bastard’ and you’ll see these guys.

If there are nits to pick then it is that the political message is as subtle as a punch in the genitals, the final action sequence is slightly too Hollywood given the stunning build-up and that the talking heads are distracting and unnecessary after the documentary footage has ended. That said, reviews are entirely opinions of individuals and this individual is too busy collecting his jaw before it gets caught up in his shoes to care for the complaints.

Epic cinema, epically told, with human drama more unflinchingly honest than most kitchen sink dramas and action that will make Michael Bay cry himself to sleep. If there’s any justice in the world, this will be considered as one of the best sci-fi films of the decade, if not one of the best films of the past ten years.

5 stars

2012 Review

2012 Review

When you know a film is directed by Roland Emmerich, you are pretty much guaranteed the following; shit exploding, stuff getting destroyed and a ton of CGI to accomplish this. 2012 is no exception.

When scientist Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) discovers that the world has less than one year left to live, panic ensues in the top ranks of government – what do they do for the people of earth when they know everything’s going to hell in a handbasket?

Meanwhile estranged ex-husband/ struggling-novelist-turned-chauffeur-for-Russian-boxer Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) is there in the middle of it, trying to save his family and get through the nightmare of the end of the world.

Let’s get one thing out of the way first: out of the multitude of characters on screen here, the reason John Cusack and Chiwetel Ejiofor are the only two people mentioned above is because the entire film hinges on their performances. Ejiofor handles all the science/ political gobbledegook while Cusack gets all the meaty explosions and running away, and if we as an audience aren’t convinced by them, we aren’t going to believe it when the world ends.

Mercifully, the two stars are every bit as fantastic as you’d expect, and because of that you’ll wholly believe that the world is coming to an end and you’re happy going along with it.

Oh yes, shit explodes, stuff gets destroyed and tons of CGI is used and it’s some of the most incredible CGI used to date. Annoyingly, practically all of the money shots were blown in the trailer and the film itself plays its trump card in the very first disaster scene, but they’re genuinely astounding. The sight of a plane swooping through a collapsing California will have you gripping the edge of your seat far more than the other disaster parts of the movie, so it’s a shame that all the good stuff is wasted so early when the other parts are nowhere near as cool as that.

It’s a film that somehow manages to eclipse every other disaster movie ever made by rolling all of them together in one. Just when you think Emmerich has run out of spectacular things to throw at Cusack, he goes and throws him out of an aircraft in a Bentley, before turning the final thirty minutes into every seafaring disaster ever made.

It’s a big, dumb, loud, obnoxious, incredibly silly movie. But that’s exactly the target audience and you’ll sit there throughout with a big dumb grin on your face as you watch stupid shit happen to stupid people as Cusack and Ejiofor prove themselves to be brilliant actors in the face of impossible odds.

It might be the same as every other film Emmerich has ever made, but this is so big in scope, so massive in spectacle that he might have to retire after this. The disaster genre is now finished, people. Emmerich has taken on the masters at their own game and won. A big dumb grin of thanks.

4 stars

Poisoned

Poisoned

The blue lights dance before my eyes.
Hello, say they. Hello and welcome.
But where am I, say I to them, and what is this place?
You are in the centre of the universe, says one blue light.
We are dancing on a sun, says the other.
I stand up and look around at the mass of frozen orange fire. It’s big. It doesn’t feel warm.
Why am I here? I ask the blue lights as they dance above me.
This is where you go to die, say the blue lights, chuckling.
The sun flickers like a dim light, everything turns grey and cold and I can hear a woman shouting something but I can’t quite-
The sun glows ever brighter and more brilliant.
Am I dead? Say I to them.
The lights swoop and glow brighter as their dance grows more joyful. You are almost dead, say they. We’re just waiting for you to finally give up and come and join us.
What happens then? I ask.
The blue lights giggle but don’t respond. They each take one of my hands and together we begin flying out of the sun.
All around me is a vast, empty space. I can hear whispering in all directions but I can’t understand any of it. I can see stars, planets, shapes, galaxies, everything.
Would you like to stay here? Ask the blue lights as they pull me through this fantastic netherworld.
Suddenly the vast emptiness ahead parts like a torn curtain and all I can see is a cracked grey ceiling in a house and a moving shadow projected against it-
Where would you like to go? Asks one blue light.
We can take you anywhere, says the other.
We soar above the heavens and the stars and all the cosmos and all I can see is infinity.
My whole life plays before me like a film in just a few seconds.
The blue lights giggle and let go of me, entwining with each other and dancing again, twirling in all directions around me.
I float there in the void for a moment, weightless, suspended by nothing, breathing nothing, feeling nothing.
The whispering grows slightly louder, but I still can’t hear it.
Suddenly, a crash – I whirl around to see where it came from and catch a glimpse of steel glinting in the light-
It is gone and the blue lights dance in my face. Is it just my imagination or are they growing larger?
The blue fairies spin me around and flip me over and over, giggling all the while.
We’re going to have such fun, says one fairy.
We’re already having fun, says the other.
What are we going to do? Ask I of them.
We’re going to play and dance and have fun forever, giggles one fairy.
It’s always such fun, giggles the other.
The blue lights are now the size of a small child, still spinning me, still dancing.
The cold grey ceiling returns, a silhouette in my face, clutching something that glints in the light, saying something I can’t quite catch, long lair falling down onto my face-
But when I touch my face there’s nothing there.
The blue children shoot off ahead of me, into the distant suns. I try to fly after them but I can’t move.
I feel like I’m swimming in treacle.
I look around to see what’s holding me.
I look to my arm and see it lying stretched out ahead of me, on the cold grey floor, somebody kneeling on it, the steel thing glinting as it hovers above my arm and I can see my veins and arteries standing out under my skin, bright red as though infected-
A warm hand touches my shoulder and I turn to see a beautiful woman floating before me. Like the children, she too is blue and shines light and elegance.
She takes my hand and holds it to her heart.
Do you want to stay here with me? She asks.
I nod, speechless.
The light billows around her like a wedding dress.
We can be together forever, says she.
I nod again.
Hold me, says she.
I hold her.
I feel a pressure on my arm, I can feel all the nerves and veins inflamed and burning-
What’s wrong? She asks.
I shake my head.
Are you scared? She asks.
I nod.
Don’t be. Kiss me. We will always be together, says she.
She leans into me and strokes my face.
Her soft blue lips are only inches away from mine.
Her eyes close in peace.
I close mine.
‘Dawn,’ I murmur.
Thunder rumbles and the blue woman screams, winds billows and I’m deafened by the noise of rage.
I COULD HAVE LOVED YOU, she screams, becoming taller, grander, as big as the infinite canvas behind her.
She strikes forward like a snake and stabs my arm.

I’m screaming up at Dawn who kneels on my infected arm as she brings the bloodied knife up again-

YOU COULD HAVE HAD HAPPINESS AND EVERLASTING LOVE, screams the blue woman again.
She stabs me again in the arm.

There’s blood all over the floor and Dawn is screaming and crying and I’m screaming and crying and there’s a wedge carved out of my arm and I can only move two fingers and there’s black gunk mixed in with the blood pouring out of the infection-

YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HAPPINESS, bellows the woman as she flies towards me, face filled with hate and pain and she plunges straight into my arm.

Dawn hammers down the knife one final time and I’m not moving any more fingers on that hand ever again. The sounds stop once more and the world goes dark again.

The flame burns my arm and it hurts so bad I wake up screaming. She takes the flame away and kneels over my face again; blood, tears and sweat running freely down her face.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she whispers into my ear.
She leans down onto my chest and sobs until she can only breathe in great gulps.
I move my arm to pat her on the back and tell her it’s alright, it’s okay, we’ll be fine-
My arm ends just below the elbow. A blackened stump is all I have left now.
The veins are no longer burning or red.
She sobs into my chest until she falls asleep, laying on me.
I can hear the wind and the rain.
I’m alive.

Wii Sports Resort Review

Wii Sports Resort Review

With everyone and their grandparents having owned, or at least played, the original launch title game, it’s time for Nintendo to churn out a sequel with a new motion-based gimmick.

This time around, waving your arms around like a loon to the amusement of all present is simply not enough – with the Wii Motion Plus add-on inserted into the bottom of the remote, straightforward games like bowling become much more difficult as the console finally has the ability to sense exactly where your hand is and how it’s moving.

Of the twelve games on offer, it’s pleasing to note that most of them are deeply enjoyable, with only canoeing and cycling being uncomfortable to play – who wants to move their arms that fast for that long? The rest are controlled in a variety of fun and amusing ways, from swordplay’s frantic stabbing to power cruising’s more laid back blasting across the sea. Firm favourites include the intense archery and the highly competitive table tennis, both of which respond to seemingly every slight twitch of your hand – it’s like you’re actually participating, instead of waving bits of white plastic around.

Visually, the game is impressive, from the slight ruffling of trees in the wind to the beautiful sight of Wuhu Island and the stunning draw distance on offer in the Pilotwings-esque flight sim.

Unfortunately, like the last game, this is not something that many people will want to play over and over by themselves. Enjoyment requires friends and a party mood while, criminally, the swordplay game is a single player only experience. Why?

Another great step forward for Nintendo and a tremendous demonstration of the Wii Motion Plus capability – great if you have plenty of friends willing to play, otherwise it’s going to be a very short, if very memorable, experience.

85%

Monsters Vs Aliens Review

Monsters Vs Aliens Review

As mouth-watering concepts go, the idea of pitting a team of monsters against an alien invasion is pretty great. Unfortunately, the result is not quite as good as the initial idea sounds.

When a meteor lands on Susan (Reese Witherspoon) on her wedding day, she is transformed into a seventy foot tall monster and removed from society by the government, led by General Monger (Kiefer Sutherland). Whilst in solitary she meets The Missing Link (Will Arnett), Dr Cockroach (Hugh Laurie), B.O.B (Seth Rogan) and Insectosaurus all of whom assure her that she’s never getting out. All that changes, however, when the villainous Gallaxhar sends his alien robot probe to earth to try and find ‘quantonium’, the very substance that turned Susan into Ginormica.

If it sounds very complex for a knockabout animated comedy, that’s because it is. The opening twenty minutes set up Susan and her life before removing her from that and throwing her in with the monsters. After this, it’s not entirely clear where Susan’s story is going or even how her character is evolving. At one point the film comes to a shuddering halt while the monsters discuss how Susan has developed. That’s when you realise that actually, no, she hasn’t and that the entire arc of her character has been bolted onto the existing (great) idea of monsters battling aliens.

And that’s another flaw in the film. There is no monster/ alien battle. There’s one alien who unleashes a robot and then clones himself later on for a small rumble. Even for a child-friendly movie, that’s pretty weak.

On the plus side, some of the voice acting is phenomenal. Stephen Colbert, in particular, as President Hathaway, is truly exceptional and Seth Rogan’s B.O.B is as great as could be expected. The Missing Link and Doctor Cockroach are good supporting characters but could really have done with some more development, while the Kiefer Sutherland-voiced General Monger is so perfect it’s almost weird.

The animation is also brilliant, easily the most gorgeous film to yet emerge from the Dreamworks Animations studio to date, which is lucky, because most of the film’s humour is hidden in wonderful facial expressions and slight gestures.

All in all, it’ll entertain the children but even they might feel something’s lacking from the final product. On paper it’s great, on screen it looks more like an extended advert for the game tie-in. Slightly disappointing.

3 stars

Heroes Volume Five: Chapter Ten

410 – Thanksgiving

After an ‘up’ episode comes this ‘down’ episode. It’s a little like nibbling on delicious cake only to be punched in the face with every other bite so hard it bleeds and it’s starting to get really freaking annoying.

It’s thanksgiving but Hiro isn’t happy – Samuel is refusing to give Charlie back and viewing the film has only made his obsession with power grow. He confides in Lydia, who makes him take her back eight weeks to the night of Joseph’s murder, where they discover that Samuel killed him. Who didn’t see that coming? Upon telling Edgar, however, Samuel convinces the circus that the super-fast assassin is the killer, forcing him to flee for the present.

In the Bennett apartment, Claire, Sandra, Lauren and Sandra’s new boyfriend Doug gather for a meal that proves to be so boring it won’t be mentioned in any more detail.

Meanwhile Angela Petrelli returns to her children and is stunned to find that the Haitian hasn’t wiped their memories. She finally tells Nathan/ Sylar (can anyone actually keep up with this utterly fucking horrible plotline?) what happened and in a massive lightening storm, the evil one returns… only to be fought from within by Nathan, who then returns… again. And flies away.

It’s a monumentally crap episode with not a single thing worth mentioning. The plot is now predictable and tiresome, the characters painfully boring and repetitive, the action is lazy and the writing is so awful Tim Kring should be forced to sit down and watch this utterly ghastly Volume from beginning to end just to make sure he knows the difference between what is awesome and what is not:

The only thing Heroes has going for it is…

Nope, I’m out of excuses. I’m an idiot going back to an abusive lover.

1 star

Growing Up, Moving On #126: Not Growing, Just Moving

We moved… then disaster struck.

ARCHIVES

New Moon Review

I never wanted to update twice in one day, but I don’t want to have to reshuffle all the scheduled posts just to attempt to keep current. Screw it, this one’s for free. It’s more than worth it. You’re welcome.

New Moon Review

This is probably going to be the toughest review any critic has had to write, ever. On the one hand, New Moon is an abomination against God and no words will do it justice. On the other hand, New Moon is absolutely hilarious and no words will do it justice.

Love is blossoming for the world’s least charismatic couple, Bella (Kristen Stewart) and vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson). Unfortunately, they’ve forgotten that he is a bloodsucking demon and that she is a happy meal on legs, only pastier, skinnier and moody as hell. After nearly getting torn a new blowhole by Harpo Marx, Bella is somehow surprised when Edward dumps her whining arse and leaves town with his family, you know, for her protection. This leaves Bella in a catatonic state where the only way she can be happy is to put herself in extreme jeopardy in order to see visions of Edward. Over the course of doing this, she becomes closer to Jacob (Taylor Lautner) who turns out to be a werewolf, the sworn enemies of vampires. Will she mend her broken heart with renewed friendship or will she instead spend a year leading Jacob on relentlessly before breaking his heart and running off to Edward again like a hateful attention whore? Too obvious?

First off, absolutely nothing happens in this film. There is no conflict, no resolution, the start and the end are exactly the same and nobody changes at all in this film. Author Stephanie Meyer throws her utterly hateful Mary Sue character into so many laughable situations that the only people who could possibly believe this travesty is remotely realistic are the tween fanbase who have no knowledge of life. If Bella is an acceptable and accurate representation of young women today, then taking a shit on a dying relative is an acceptable and accurate way of bidding them farewell. For a supposedly strong female lead, she is nothing – nothing! – without her man, going into a catatonic state for three months, not eating, sending emails to an address that doesn’t exist, ignoring her friends and spending all night screaming in such agony that her poor father sleeps downstairs to avoid putting a tire iron through her dense skull. To be fair, after three minutes of that soulless harpy trying to guilt trip everyone into caring about her pathetic problems, you’ll be reaching for the blunt object yourself.

This is a film that puts forward the ideas that domestic violence is an acceptable thing to happen to women; that women need men to survive; that high school crushes will last forever; that gay people should be shunned from society and that suicide is the only answer to being dumped by your first fleeting taste of love. It’s a film as dangerous as nuclear warfare – there really are kids out there now genuinely believing this horseshit and wanting to go through the experience.

As if to prove that Stephanie Meyer doesn’t have a single original bone in her worthless body, the entire story is a copy-paste job of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, although anyone having the balls to actually think the two stories as comparable should be dangled from a tree by a hate mob and have their insides torn out by hungry weasels. From the opening shot of Bella sleeping next o a copy of Shakespeare’s tragic masterpiece to the ending, where a hysterically ill-thought-out series of events leads to Edward believing Bella is dead and attempting to commit suicide, everything in this is a straight rip-off without any of the good stuff brought forward.

There could be dozens of jokes littered throughout this about how gay the vampires are, or how gay the half-naked werewolf boys are, but, honestly, it’s just not worth it. It’s too easy a target. So let’s take the high road instead and mention that the vampire council, the Volturi, are the most inept, useless and camp collection of queers ever to skip merrily down the Hershey highway. Michael Sheen is a fantastic actor, but here he is literally doing his best to try and out-gay everyone on screen by coming off as the worst giggling, prancing, preening queen ever to fail a Bond villain audition. Even the idea of the council is retarded – there’s one rule: never reveal yourself to a human. So what do they do when they discover that the Cullen clan have a human in their midst, in love with one of their brood? Absolutely sod all! They just stare at the wall, look at bit bored and go back to seeing how much forearm they can fit up each other.

There’s nothing in the film commendable, save maybe for Billy Burke’s long-suffering Charlie Swan, the only remotely likable character in this travesty. Seriously, after you see the endless stream of effluence he has to put up with from his vile daughter, you’ll cheer when he tries to get her to move out. You’ll want to buy him a beer when Bella’s horrific meddling in police business leads to his one and only friend getting killed. This man does not deserve that daughter. Honestly, dude, nobody would ever miss that shit-filled, troll-like, attention-seeking, cock-teasing, boy-chasing, thrill-seeking, demon, whore, slut. Just do the job and leave her in a shallow ditch in those woods. Please.

The actors can’t be bothered. The director doesn’t give two shits about anything on screen. The writer isn’t being paid enough to make Stephanie Meyer’s eye-searingly bad source material work on screen. The special effects team knocked off early for lunch. And you know what? The morons who actually think this is good are going to love it. It’s porn for prepubescent girls too afraid to go online and look at penises. And it’s the funniest film you’ll ever see… until the devil finishes work on the next film. Watch it with like-minded people and get some beers in. Move over, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, New Moon is the best worst film ever made.

1 star (5 stars)

The Hurt Locker Review

The Hurt Locker Review

‘War is a drug’, proclaims the opening text to Kathryn Bigelow’s tribute to the bomb disposing squads roaming Baghdad. That’s the theme behind this utterly astonishing salute to the men and women risking their lives for reasons even they don’t rightly know. Make no mistake, this film is not jaw-dropping – The Hurt Locker rips your mouth off its hinge and goes bungee jumping with it.

When their previous team leader is killed by a roadside bomb, Sergeant Sanborn (Anthony Mackie) and Specialist Eldridge (Brian Geraghty) are assigned a new bomb disposal tech, Staff Sergeant James (Jeremy Renner). However, when he turns out to be an arrogant, hot-headed thrill-seeker, they begin to worry if they will live the remaining thirty nine days they have until they can go back home.

It’s a staggering view of a world a million miles away from anything the audience could ever understand, of a war so far removed from what text books or personal stories from battles gone by could ever hope to convey that it is at first disorienting and almost jarring. After all, this is a war movie where the war is secondary to the characters, a war movie which dares not to make any impositions on the viewers’ own beliefs on whether or not the war is even right. When the dust settles, this is a story of three humans trapped in a hellish scenario even they don’t quite understand.

It’s a tale of a war where the colonels don’t know what truly happens on the battlefield, where a split decision to kill or not can alter the course of one man’s life, where a group of civilians will happily shake your hand while laying a bomb beside you. It’s a story that dares to get inside the heads of the soldiers out there right now and try to find out why they are where they are.

General sweeping praise aside, each of the three protagonists is masterfully written and beautifully acted, a portrayal of somewhat civilized men so surrounded by chaos that the only real way to let off steam is to get drunk and punch each other. Scriptwriter Mark Boal, who stuck with a real disposal squad on the front lines, has done an absolutely tremendous job in reliving that particular hell, while director Kathryn Bigelow has produced visuals and nerve-shredding tension nothing short of mind-blowing. When you don’t know if a man is waving at you or relaying a signal to someone behind you, you know you’re in a different kind of hell.

The pulse-pounding sequences come on thick and fast, as relentlessly as the realities are bombarding troops right now. Each mission is different to the one before, each bomb somehow worse and more horrific than the previous, each set-piece as unnerving as actually being shot at. Whether it’s watching a man pull up multitudes of improvised explosives at his own feet, hearing the cries of a man forced into an explosive vest or an absolutely superb sniper battle across a desert wasteland, this is one film that will stay with you long after the credits roll.

No matter what your opinion is of the war or where you stand on the people fighting it, you have to – no, you need to – see this film. It won’t change your mind, but it will rock your world and open your eyes. This is not a war you can study; this is war as a spectator sport, a battle for ratings in a world that doesn’t want the grizzly details. Harrowing, startling, eye-opening, terrifying, intense, tear-jerking, jaw-dropping and utterly unforgettable.

5 stars

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus Review

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus Review

A film by near-legendary filmmaker Terry Gilliam is a lot like eating out at an expensive restaurant – it doesn’t happen as often as you’d like and when it does you want to savour every exquisite moment.

Happily, this is one of those times where it’s absolutely well worth the wait and by the time the credits roll, you’ll be glad Gilliam stuck with the film through all the troubles on set – the death of star Heath Ledger, the death of producer William Vince and Gilliam himself breaking his back in a traffic accident. It really is a film that struggled against all the odds just to get made – and that makes this even more special.

Doctor Parnassus (Christopher Plummer) is in a bind. He’s a gambling addict with one huge problem – the man he keeps making bets with is none other than Mr Nick, the devil himself (the sublime Tom Waits), and now he has come to collect the fee for his latest gambit – Parnassus’ own daughter, Valentina (Lily Cole). However, the devil decides to up the stakes one last time: if Parnassus can win over five souls through the Imaginarium before the devil can claim them, she can go free.

Complicating this task are the members of the Imaginarium’s travelling troupe – dwarf Percy (Verne Troyer) is becoming frustrated with Parnassus’ heavy drinking, while Valentina is blind to affections of sleight-of-hand expert Anton (Andrew Garfield). Adding to this is the sudden arrival of amnesiac assault victim Tony (Heath Ledger), a man who may or may not decide the fate of the entire group.

It would be foolish to say that Ledger’s performance is as remarkable or as incredible as his portrayal of the Joker. Instead, it is simply as enjoyable as all the other characters on screen, each one as deep, as complex and beautifully drawn as most whole protagonists and all deserving of their own film. It is disappointing to note that the only three scenes Ledger did not get to finish are the most important three his character has in the film. Thankfully the always reliable Johnny Depp, the wonderful Colin Farrell and the passable Jude Law step in, adding another dimension onto Tony’s fractured character.

Like going through the Imaginarium’s door, delving beneath the surface of the film reveals far more than what at first seems so straightforward. Parnassus is a representation of Gilliam, a man desperate to tell the world amazing stories, while Mr Nick is the Hollywood studios – constantly interfering and influencing the tales in a different way. It’s an ensemble piece of the greatest variety; the titular Imaginarium – a horse-drawn double-decker carriage – is possibly the closest thing to a protagonist, a storyteller in a world that simply doesn’t care for its own imagination anymore.

Add to this some of the most incredible CGI visuals in recent cinema history and a film so heaving with imagination it’s in danger of collapsing under the weight of its scope. The only real criticism to be made is that the final twenty minutes feel slightly dragged out, as if Gilliam couldn’t bear to finish a film that cost two and a half people to make.

Wonderful, spellbinding, intoxicating. Take a dip in Gilliam’s mind once more, but be warned – this time you might not want to come out.

5 stars