Fame Review

Posted: October 4, 2009 in Review
Tags: , ,

Fame Review

Signs of the apocalypse come in many forms. Horsemen. Plagues. Michael Bay films. But this sign of the apocalypse comes in a whole new way – in the guise of an all-singing-all-dancing remake.

Make no mistake about it, Fame is awful. Beyond awful, beyond any number of diseases, plagues, epidemics and natural disasters – Fame manages to be a whole new kind of terrorist act.

From the off, the overstuffed cast – around ten characters – struggle to get across even their names, let alone their motivations and backstories and once the initial opening (where all the cast audition to be allowed into a respected performing arts school) is through, the film dissolves into a medley of sketches based around the characters, each one has a ridiculous problem that never gets explored or resolved in any reasonable way.

There’s a girl who can sing but her daddy wants her to play piano, a guy who wants to act but his mum doesn’t know/ care/ is too busy to notice, a guy who is a really good actor, a guy who can’t dance, a girl who can dance, a girl who can’t loosen up to enjoy acting, a girl who is a really good actor and their teachers – Will & Grace’s Megan Mullally and Frasier’s Kelsey Grammar whose careers must be on suicide watch after this.

The film’s laughably impossible decision to try and cover all four (or is it five?) years of the course with this many characters leaves huge swathes of the story untold – in one scene a character has a visible black eye, with no explanation.

In fact, this review is over. It’s too much to even try and remember it. Fame now belongs on the same list of blights against cinema as Watchmen, Death Proof and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

No stars

Comments
  1. Alex says:

    You didnt like Watchmen?

    Hmmmm. But it was novel.

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