Saw VI Review

Saw VI Review

Once upon a time, two men wrote a brilliant, gripping and original horror movie. Because it was made on a budget of chewing gum and pennies and grossed tens of millions on release, the sequel machine took over and began churning out yearly instalments of varying grizzly nastiness while simultaneously forgetting what was so great about the original in the first place – the lack of violence.

After the original writers killed off their creation in the third movie, two new writers came on board to write a second trilogy. With the series this time actually being designed as such, it meant they could do whatever they wanted and be as stupid as they liked, knowing they would have three years to plan how it all resolved. And that’s where Saw VI picks up: at the end of a long, bloody, painfully obvious road.

Opening in traditionally silly style, two loan sharks wake up in a room to discover they have sixty seconds to cut off as much of themselves as possible to avoid having screws driven into their heads. If at this point you’re wondering what technology would be involved in such a thing, this franchise is not for you. After this, the film turns yet again into a long series of ‘tests’ (read: excuses for violence) as Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) takes the head of an evil insurance firm and tries to help him see the error of his ways. As you’d expect, this involves forcing William to murder seven of his employees.

The traps – hugely elaborate ways to die, a staple of the series – are as stupid and deliberately gruesome as you’d expect. One involves holding breath to avoid being squeezed, another running through a steam maze, while the most hilarious of all features six people on a carousel facing a shotgun. It really is as face-palm-worthy as it sounds. As usual, Jigsaw’s victims are mostly blameless, from a bunch of white-collar office jockeys to an old man whose only crime is to smoke – you really have to wonder why you’re supposed to want these people to die.

While all that thigh-slapping fun happens in the background, the main arc of the story sees Jigsaw’s apprentice Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) trying to keep his cover (again) while Jigsaw’s ex-wife Jill (Betsy Russell) walks about looking mysterious.

The main things this instalment have going for it are that it manages to answer most of the questions left open by the series (not that you wanted most of them answered, but, hey, that’s life) and that it’s better than Saw V – although that film could perhaps have only been worse if it randomly fired snakes out of the screen at you.

By the end of the long, arduous trek up death mountain – passing stupid civilian city and dumb dialogue point – you finally come to the end of this ludicrous and unnecessary franchise. But, wait… what’s that? The story isn’t quite finished? And the sequel machine rolls on. See you next year, Jigsaw.

Two stars

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