Crank: High Voltage Review
Let’s get one thing out of the way first – Crank: High Voltage is the best film ever made.
Beginning literally seconds after the original, Jason Statham’s harder-than-hell assassin Chev Chelios is scraped off the pavement by Triad gangsters led by Johnny Vang. This leads to Chev’s indestructible heart being replaced by an artificial one with limited battery. That’s the set-up for even more mayhem and destruction than last time around, as Chev has to murderize his way through Latino and Chinese gangs in order to restore his pumper, while keeping his battery constantly topped up.
Make no bones about it; this is a film that completely understands its audience. Within five minutes, Chev has shot four people dead, shoved a shotgun up a gangster’s arse and been told he has a big dick. From then on, the filmmakers stop at absolutely nothing to bring the laughs and action in equal measure up to a face-melting speed that spits in the face of very other action movie ever made.
This is, without a doubt, Statham’s finest hour. He sprints from car smash to shootout without batting an eyelid, always with a slightly self-referential look and constantly giving every frame one hundred and ten percent of his seemingly boundless energy.
And energy is something that this film has in spades. The decision to shoot the entire movie in a fishbowl view – ala a skateboarding video – is a risky move, one that is slightly disorienting fir the first ten minutes, but adds an incredible layer of frenetic energy to the film, giving even the ‘slow’ sections a kick up the arse.
Of course, you can describe a ‘slow’ section in Crank: High Voltage as being ‘without explosions, chases, smashes, crashes or gun battles’. Being a film aimed squarely at ADHD-inflicted twentysomething males, all scenes without violence or explosions feature naked women. You know, in case your mind wanders.
What’s most shocking (pun intended) is that no two scenes are the same. Each set-piece is different to the one before it, with each bringing its own separate laughs, shocks and thrills. The sex scene – taking place at a horse racing track this time – easily rivals most whole comedy films for sheer belly laughs.
In short, Crank: High Voltage is a solid gold masterpiece. The best action movie of the year? Try the last ten. Try the best movie of all time. All Hail Statham!
5/5
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