Posts Tagged ‘reviews’

Link O’Clock

Posted: November 26, 2010 in Musings
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What are you talking about? This totally counts as one of my two a week.

Alan Wake: The Writer
Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 1
Dead Rising 2
The Walking Dead: Episode One
The Force Unleashed II (Wii)
The Walking Dead: Episode Two
GoldenEye 007
The Walking Dead: Episode Three

Black Ops Wii Will Have Zombies Too
First GoldenEye Wii Reviews Are In
Reggie: Wii To Sell 15m More Units Before Wii 2
Black Ops Patch On The Way

Call of Duty: Black Ops Wii Details Revealed
Deadly Premonition Review
James Bond 007: Blood Stone Review
GoldenEye 007 Review

Saw 3D Review – They Saved The Worst For Last


I’m making a deal with myself to try and update this at least once (preferably twice) a week. There you are, it’s on record now.

Stuff what I have done lately:

Wii Remote Plus Dated For Europe
Wii And DS Sales Tumble
Professor Layton Vs Pheonix Wright Announced

Sonic the Hedgehog 4 Episode I Review
Left 4 Dead: The Sacrifice Review
Alan Wake: The Writer Review
Dead Rising 2 Review

Box Office – Paranormal Activity 2 Has Biggest Ever Horror Opening
Vampires Suck Review (Ungraded)
Guess How Much Money Resident Evil: Afterlife Has Made?
Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Pt 1 – Now Not In 3D

Right, so, basically, I’ve been working pretty solidly and getting a lot done (go me), which has seen my work pile finally diminishing. I thought I might be able to even clear through some of it and get onto stuff for this blog thing – I’ve got a fair few reviews and whatnot to go up here, but I’ve been prioritising.

Then I hooked up XBox Live. No idea why, just wondered if it would work.

A week later I realised that I hadn’t moved from the spot. I’d been laying on a not-as-comfortable-as-it-sounds pile of pillows, staring into a screen, ignoring the verbal abuse of Americans for a whole week.

My workpile has doubled. Now I’m on top of it.

Anyway, most of this is the usual collection of reviews, but there is a preview for XBLA game Space Ark. I travelled up to Derby to see that and I’m looking forward to seeing its release. That’s all for now. I should be back again soon with the next batch of links – containing an interview I’m hugely excited about.

The Cleveland Show: Episode Fourteen
World Exclusive Preview: Space Ark
Ashes to Ashes: 303
The Cleveland Show: Episode Fifteen
The Cleveland Show: Episode Sixteen
The Cleveland Show: Episode Seventeen
Ashes to Ashes: 304
BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger


Posted: April 21, 2010 in Review
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Phew. I was falling behind on my work, then I received Splinter Cell: Conviction, which had a deadline of two days on it. Now I’m really behind on my work and yesterday I went to the press screening of Hot Tub Time Machine (oooh, get you with the travel). Somewhen I’ll be going to Derby to do a game preview and I hope to be back on top of my work by then. I probably should stop playing Modern Warfare 2, but I’ve become an achievement whore.

The Cleveland Show: Episode Twelve
Pure Pwnage Teh TV Show: Episode Three
Splinter Cell: Conviction
Ashes to Ashes: 302
The Cleveland Show: Episode Thirteen
Doctor Who: Victory of the Daleks

Many thanks to Alex for his simply inspired Churchill-based rant which made it into the Doctor Who review.

Moar Links

Posted: March 31, 2010 in Musings
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Sorry about this current cycle where I vanish for two weeks, reappear, post loads, then vanish again. As always, I’m playing catch-up with a bizarre workload I’ve managed to produce from nothing. Here are some links until more things appear without warning:

The Cleveland Show: Episode Ten
Super Monkey Ball Step & Roll
The Cleveland Show: Episode Nine
The Nerd Zone: Sonic the Hedgehog 4 (Act 3)
The Nerd Zone: Sonic the Hedgehog 4 (Act 2)
The Nerd Zone: Sonic the Hedgehog 4 (Act 1)
The Cleveland Show: Episode Eight

I make no excuses…

Posted: March 9, 2010 in Musings
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…but my laptop died. I blame Vista wholeheartedly. Some new things to browse if you feel like it:

The Cleveland Show: Episode Seven
The Cleveland Show: Episode Six
The Cleveland Show: Episode Five
The Cleveland Show: Episode Four
Bioshock 2
The Cleveland Show: Episode Three
The Cleveland Show: Episode Two
The Cleveland Show: Episode One

Things are coming, but I can’t say when. Still debating the future of any potential comics, as I’d rather just get stuck into some writing. Eat your greens.


Posted: February 6, 2010 in Musings
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Hello there! Thought I’d better come on and explain why things have been so dead as of late. I’ve been dividing my time quite unhealthily, you see. I work 39 hours a week, then I come home and spend several hours playing games and then reviewing them. Just in case you think I’m lying, you can read my childish scribblings here:

Need for Speed: Nitro
Hasbro’s Family Game Night
C.O.P. The Recruit
New Super Mario Bros Wii
Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare: Reflex Edition
Dead Space: Extraction
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare: Mobilised
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks

GUMO is not dead, it is on its way back. I’m just trying to decide what I want to do with it – do I keep it based on real events, make up a story, learn how to make comics look more professional or turn in a page of dribble and call it art? Anyway, that’s all from me for now. Next up: another bloody Heroes review. More games as and when. Stay safe.

Crank: High Voltage Review

Let’s get one thing out of the way first – Crank: High Voltage is the best film ever made.

Beginning literally seconds after the original, Jason Statham’s harder-than-hell assassin Chev Chelios is scraped off the pavement by Triad gangsters led by Johnny Vang. This leads to Chev’s indestructible heart being replaced by an artificial one with limited battery. That’s the set-up for even more mayhem and destruction than last time around, as Chev has to murderize his way through Latino and Chinese gangs in order to restore his pumper, while keeping his battery constantly topped up.

Make no bones about it; this is a film that completely understands its audience. Within five minutes, Chev has shot four people dead, shoved a shotgun up a gangster’s arse and been told he has a big dick. From then on, the filmmakers stop at absolutely nothing to bring the laughs and action in equal measure up to a face-melting speed that spits in the face of very other action movie ever made.

This is, without a doubt, Statham’s finest hour. He sprints from car smash to shootout without batting an eyelid, always with a slightly self-referential look and constantly giving every frame one hundred and ten percent of his seemingly boundless energy.

And energy is something that this film has in spades. The decision to shoot the entire movie in a fishbowl view – ala a skateboarding video – is a risky move, one that is slightly disorienting fir the first ten minutes, but adds an incredible layer of frenetic energy to the film, giving even the ‘slow’ sections a kick up the arse.

Of course, you can describe a ‘slow’ section in Crank: High Voltage as being ‘without explosions, chases, smashes, crashes or gun battles’. Being a film aimed squarely at ADHD-inflicted twentysomething males, all scenes without violence or explosions feature naked women. You know, in case your mind wanders.

What’s most shocking (pun intended) is that no two scenes are the same. Each set-piece is different to the one before it, with each bringing its own separate laughs, shocks and thrills. The sex scene – taking place at a horse racing track this time – easily rivals most whole comedy films for sheer belly laughs.

In short, Crank: High Voltage is a solid gold masterpiece. The best action movie of the year? Try the last ten. Try the best movie of all time. All Hail Statham!